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Why it’s worth going for what you want

March 17, 2017

They didn’t think I could pull it off. Had I listened, I wouldn’t have backpacked across Europe for a semester at the tender age of 17.
These were the days before cell phones. To get in touch, you had to buy a calling card to use at a public pay phone.

There were no ATMs to distribute currency, so you had to go to a bank during its open hours (and not on a bank holiday or weekend!) to exchange traveller’s checks.

Instead of GPS, you found your way around by following maps in the Let’s Go Europe guide and by asking people in broken French/Italian/German for directions.

My boyfriend at the time and I started a jewelry business to pay for the trip. We made and sold embroidered and beaded necklaces and bracelets in the West Village of New York City.

I negotiated with my school to do an independent study in exchange for credit.

My parents rallied behind me when they saw how committed I was but they hadn’t been to Europe and were perpelexed by the drive I had to go there.

There were so many reasons this trip was unlikely to happen, which made it all the more satisfying when it did.

I am so grateful to have had a formative experience of going for what I want at a young age. From this, I later became known for my independent spirit and following my heart.

In addition to gaining perspective from independent travel and visiting other cultures, I shaped a new worldview that embraced greater possibilities. Through my experience, I developed an ability to see solutions that others may not pay attention to because they dismissed them outright.

As a life coach and educator, I use my insights to help others see things in a new light and expand possibilities.

So many women hold back from what they want (and struggle as a result)

They worry about being unrealistic, making someone else uncomfortable, breaking the status quo or enduring the pain of failure or embarrassment. It would break their hearts to hear the I-told-you-so’s or to be identified as one of those people.

I often hear women apologize, justify and explain as if they are little girls and need permission to do something big, bold or outside of the norm.

Because we are relational creatures, we care about other people and their reactions — both real and imagined. The female brain derives a sense of safety through connection. Breaking the status quo can be seen as a threat to that connection and result in expulsion from the group.

Some women think: who am I to do this?

Marianne Williamson responds by asking: who are you not to do it?

Following our own convictions and doing somethign new can be scary — where it’s starting a career as an artist, doula or acupuncturist, planning a homebirth, defying gender norms, moving to a new city or setting boundaries with a family member.
I am usually the last person to ever say that something can’t be done, no matter how outlandish, unconventional or challenging. My purpose is not to spur people into unrealistic expectations, frustration or failure. Rather, I want to live in a world where people live fully and go after their dreams.
I would not be who I am today without the belief that anything is possible, at least until we try and give it our all. And we wouldn’t have things like airplanes, automobiles, internet and lightbulbs. Movements have been born and our realities shaped by those who dared.

The pain of our unlived lives is more unbearable than living with our mistakes and failures.

My question (assuming it won’t cause harm to anyone) is:

How badly do you want whatever it is and what are you willing to trade or risk to get it?

Just because something is possible, doesn’t mean it is easy. And if it involves controlling a situation or manipulating another person to get what we want, that’s not the kind of possibility that I am talking about.
Thinking independently, setting boundaries and going against the status quo may be challeging but whatever the outcome, it means that you were willing to stand up for what you want and go for it.

Going for what you want is an act of courage and radical self-love.

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